Sep 22, 2010

Good ol’ America

WIP is currently going well even though I have less time to work on it. See—when I do actually have time the ideas that have built up over the week come flowing out of my brain, and I end up typing like a madman. Haha :) I remember just last Saturday I went through three hours straight without stopping. You can just imagine how many red and green squiggly lines were on the page.



Here’s something to get you laughing today—a list of existing laws in the United States.


The one I found particularly funny is one from my own state Massachusetts: Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.



*Looks around nervously* oops!


And also this one from the state of Florida: A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.


A List of Stupid Laws in the US:
- Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.


- Alaska:
1. It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

- California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.


- Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.


2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

- Florida:


1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.


5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.


6. Any form of sexual contact other than missionary position is a misdomeanor. (This is still a law. There have been several cases of people being brought up on these charges in the past 5 years alone. If the police enter a home with a warrent for some other crime and catch the 'culprits' in action, they can, and are, brought up on those charges.)


- Illinois:


1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.


- Indiana:


1. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.


2. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.


- Iowa:


1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.


- Kentucky:


1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."


2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.


- Louisiana:


1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.


2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."


- Massachusetts:


1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.


2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.


3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first


pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.


4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.


- Nebraska:


1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.


- New Mexico:


1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.


- New York:


1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.


- North Dakota:


1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.


- Ohio:


1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.


- Oklahoma:


1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.


2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.


3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.


- Pennsylvania:


1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.


2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.


- Tennessee:


1. It is illegal to lasso a catfish in Tennessee!!

- Texas:


1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.


2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.



- Vermont:


1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.



- Washington:


1. All lollipops are banned.


2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.


3. In King County, in Seattle Washington, it is illegal to sit on a man's lap on a metro bus, unless you are married.


4. Vancouver, WA has a city law that requires all motor vehicles to carry anchors... as an emergency brake. (Ted Timmons)



- West Virginia:


1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."




Which one of these did you find most hilarious???



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7 comments:

  1. Whoa, where'd you get that list? Lol, love it.

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  2. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Some of those are fabulous!

    I'm glad the writing is flowing so well! Congrats on that.

    I like the no singing in a swimsuit! YAY FOR THE NUDE ARIA! *cough* Also wise that men's gowns have straps--they don't have the...well... you know... to hold them up without.

    ReplyDelete
  3. @LM- I google searched stupid laws--haha ;)

    @Hart- haha! I thought that one was funny too. And your right, but there are some dudes who can hold it up--just saying. Hehe :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is tooooo funny! Thanks for sharing! I seriously laughed my head off!

    ~Ivy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi from Yokohama! Hilarious post--which *one* is the funniest? We have to pick one? Hmmm--all lollipops are banned. Although, now that I think about it, that's almost more cruel than funny. What if Santa leaves one in your stocking:))

    When you come to Japan, you're gonna visit, right!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha, of course I will. :)

    Right after I make a stop at Osaka.

    And I agree--lollipops being banned is cruel. Then I'd have to throw away have my candybag on Halloween. haha :)

    ReplyDelete

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